12/26/14

Had a very good food day yesterday.  Kept my portions small. Didn't even eat my full dessert just part of it.  Of course, today I feel like I could eat everything in sight.  But I am still trying.  I didn't clean my plate at breakfast.

Now for my stitching up date.  The present, for my sister, that I worked on most of December and a little bit of November has gone into the garbage.  I tried to take a photo and turn it it into a cross stitch pattern.  I was about 95% done.  But I thought it looked horrible.  Trashed it.

Yesterday, I went through my craft cupboard and organized, purged a few things.  Found a frame and mat I didn't remember having.  So I am ready for "2015 Stitch from Stash".  Actually I have already started.  I used an old piece of 22 count aida and old JP Coats floss and made a picture for a little girl I know named Lyric.  Used the frame and mat I found.  So this little project was all from old stash.  I will post a picture of it as soon as I get it back from Michael's.  I took it in today and he said it should be ready Monday.  Awesome!

So now I will work on my large project "Save the Stitches" until January.  In Jan. I am going to start a project for my cousin.  She is hosting our family reunion in May so I want to have it for her by then.

Off to pay bills......

12/23/14

Not much to blog about.  Had a good weekend.  We pigged out on pizza Saturday.  Oh, how I love pizza.  I actually am in love with a lot of food.  I set my goal for 2015 to not eat French fries.  An I started a month ago.  While I like them and always eat them, I find it is not so hard to give them up.  So I was thinking about my next food to give up.  "They" say, you shouldn't do that but there are certain foods that I shouldn't eat so giving them up is a good idea.  It has to be realistic though.  I would fail giving up bread, for example.  Or even chocolate. 

But maybe I could try, don't eat bread from the bread basket at a restaurant.  That would be a challenge but not impossible.  Another hard thing would be Pearson's Salted Nut Rolls.  My husband loves them and he always gives me one when he eats one.  I can say "no, thank you".  So now I have 3 things I don't need off "my plate".

So I have January 2015 food emissions.  My stitching goals are to not buy any more stitching supplies in 2015 and just work from my stash.  I have to finish up the present for my sister and one for a little girl I know and then I have 4 new projects I want to complete in 2015.  If I have time for more projects that will be awesome.

Now most of my food problems are with portion control.  One or 2 pieces of pizza is okay but 4 and a bread stick is just too much.  So that is something I need to work on. 

OA wisdom today - Today I am teachable, with freedom to grow, to change, to resolve problems and feel good!

12/19/14

Yesterday was rough.  My co-workers (4 of us) went out to eat with some of our contractors (4 of them).  We went to this "posh" place on Pennsylvania Dr in DC.   I thought I would try something new.  It was called chicken and lemon burger.  It wasn't gross but it wasn't yummy either.  The good news is it came with French fries and I declined them.  Every one pretty much had French fries so they were passed around.  I didn't have a one.  So yeah for me.  Bad news, the appetizer was little puffed balls of dough with cheese in them.  Had 4!  There was also bread on the table had one.  Then one of the contractors gave us gifts.  We got a tiny loaf of gingerbread. Yum.  Homemade sea salt toffee. Yum. And a bottle of homemade Kaluha.  Maybe Yum, not sure as I don't drink.  YET!       Will power going down the toilet....

All in all, giving up French fries is a good thing but not hard.  I think giving up appetizers and the bread basket is what I should give up now too. 

My meal wasn't sitting too good in my stomach and I felt so tired when I got home I didn't get any stitching done.  Just looked at it. 

OA For Today: "believe that you can be abstinent."  Blew that already! Damn sea salt toffee.  AA has one day at a time.  For me it is more like one hour at a time.  Can I get through this hour. 

I think I need to write out serious goals for Jan 2015 and then post them everyday so I am reminded of what I wish to do.  These would be more than just food goals since I am the self-proclaimed Queen of Procrastination!

One hour at a time.  We can do this....

12/18/14

Yesterday was a good food day.  I even went to a gathering at a friends house.  The had all my favorite appetizers.  That being "food".  I didn't have any!  I even drank plain water.  Did not snack last night when I got home and plopped down in front of the TV.  That is a huge accomplishment for me.  Most people would not understand what the big deal is but when you have an addiction, the tiniest things are a success.

But my downfall is keeping this momentum going.  A couple hours is all I can conquer.  Today is a new day.  OA FOR TODAY:  I have done enough "research" on diet and weight loss...
And I have.  I know what to do.  I just need to do it.

Didn't do any stitching yesterday but I did get in some reading on the subway. 

Off to start the day..........

12/17/14

Yesterday was a pretty good day, considering I thought my headache would develop into a full blown migraine.  It is probably a placebo effect but when I get these headaches, I drink Coke.  I don't know if it is the sugar, caffeine or both combined with aspirin.  So drinking all that Coke brought my calorie content up.  I felt my meals were not too big. 

OA - For Today - "There is no problem I cannot take to God and none for which God does not have a solution."  Remembering to ASK is such a struggle for me.

Last night I stitched on my gift for my sister.  (I am really hating it. I can't really talk about it in case she reads this blog)  I stitched mostly on my gift for a friend's little girl.

I am reading another Nevada Barr novel.  I am on book 16 of the Anna Pigeon series.  I love a series in books.  I love to follow a character. 

12/16/14

What a hectic morning.  We ride the subway into DC for work but there is a water main break at Federal Triangle so our subway had to back track and we got off at the Pentagon and took a taxi into work.  Wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't woke up with such a horrible headache.  I sat in my recliner last night and stitched for a couple hours.  I love stitching but when I get so engrossed in it I don't move or stretch and my shoulder seizes up.  That goes right up into my head.

Yesterday was a pretty good food day.  I did snack too much but no binging.  Saw a picture of myself today that was taken this summer.  It just emphasizes that I need to lose weight. 

Today's OA Voices of Recovery gives a reminder to trust your Higher Power.  But I need to remember to actually ASK my Higher Power for guidance. " so I will trust God to guide me and pray for the good sense to listen".

12/15/14

Not a bad weekend.  I don't feel that there was any severe overeating of meals.  I did eat an entire bag of cheese popcorn throughout the weekend.  I am pleased with the over all eating weekend.

I did get off my butt on Sunday morning and go to worship service.  I always feel better when I go, it is just the laziness of wanting to stay in on Sundays and not do anything but read and stitch. 

I did get some stitching done.  I usually only like to work on one project at a time.  I have a pattern of once I put down a project I forget about it and move on to something else.  But what I am working on is a gift so I need to keep at it.  It is confetti stitching and driving me nuts.  So I did switch to a small project for a little girl I know.  I am going to participate in a Stitch from Stash in 2015, so I went through my stash and found some old 22 count aida and I am using some old JP Coats floss.  I worked on that most of the evening. 

Going back to the Overeaters Anonymous books to get back into the healthy eating swing.  Today's Voices of Recovery is about anger.  I am not feeling anger.  But the last sentence made sense:  I can live honestly with myself as I recognize and write down my feelings.   I feel good and positive this morning.

12/13/14

Today was rough.  The whole week was rough.  I have been out of sorts for weeks.  Since my sister nearly died.  She is still very ill and lives 1100 miles away from me.  I have been very weepy too.

Back to today... my husband has PTSD from being in the military and being in the Beruit War as well as other combat situations.  He gets very irritated easily.  Don't get me wrong he is not abusive to me.  He just has a cutting sharp voice.  I was raised by an abusive mother so I don't handle his or anyone's irritability well.  I am horrible with confrontation too.  I stuff everything down and then pack food on top.  Today, as we were driving along and he was so testy, all I could think of is I think I could use a drink.  I don't drink!!  I need to find a way to calm down.  A healthy way.  I think that is what cross stitch is too me.  A spot where I can concentrate on making a beautiful picture and ignore the rest of the world.  

I have been shopping for cross stitch stuff like crazy.  I have lots of patterns and about 6 unfinished kits.  I have lots of floss now and I went to kit up my new project for January Stitch from Stash and realized that all my aida is small pieces.  I don't have any pieces big enough.  So I have to shop again.  I need to get enough for all of 2015.  My goals set for 2015 are buy no more stitching stash and food wise I will not eat a french fry in 2015.  Might seem silly to give up one food item but I think it is a good goal.

Hoping for a happy rest of the day.

12/8/14

Had a very snacky weekend.  Didn't get any stitching done either.  I accomplished nothing except gain a few pounds.  I am hoping to have a good week.  I am going to attempt portion control today.  I need to feel better and the only way to do this is to get the pounds off. 

I really need to find a motivation to get outside and walk.  It must be done.  I don't know how to shake the tiredness at the end of the work day.  Although I know exercise would help with that.

Hoping for a better week.

12/2/14

Well this blog thing hasn't really worked for me.  I am now probably 150 lbs overweight.  I have tried everything.  My husband wants me to lose weight but he seems to sabotage me.  I was really involved in OA for a while but my husband was always putting it down and I got deflated and I gave up.  I just don't have any fight left in me.  So here it is 2014 and I have gotten no where.  Blogging isn't my thing, yet I know that if I could keep up on it, it would help me greatly.  So I will try again.

In June I picked up my cross stitch needle which I had abandoned for many years.  In just 5 months I have completed 4 projects.  I have found my passion again.  I am not very good at finding balance in my life.  Since I started stitching again, I haven't done much reading and I have abandoned my Bible study.  So balance seems to be what I should concentrate on.  

I am also addicted to facebook. 

Gosh, I have so many problems and issues.  It seems to overwhelm me and then I give up on everything.  So one day at a time. 

Goals for today:  Tonight - Do my personal accounting for month end November.  Stitch if I get that done.  At work - get bills paid and a dent made in the month end processing. 

One day at a time.  So today is a new beginning.