Well still out of control. This time my excuse is I have had a headache for a couple of days. You know eating probably makes it worse. But when my head hurts I tend to eat more unless I can lay down. Of course, at work, they don't like that.
Today's story in the Thin book, it about getting started. This is my wake up call. How can I activate my own inner resources. The book says to stay motivated. Cast off negative experiences. When you spirit soars your weight falls. Hmmmm. Call back the positive feelings when you liked what you saw in the mirror. I think I can thank mommy dearest for not being able to have that. I can't say I have ever liked what was in the mirror.
The book says I should have a mission statement. Hmmmmm.
My mission is too lose weight. To get eliminate the burden my body is carrying. I will not overeat.
What I have eaten before right now does not count. What counts is right now!
I've had it with living this way, I am going to change, now!
I need to build up my spirituality and start relying on God to help me. Change is possible.
Lord, make me willing to change.
I am going to follow the OA Food for thought book and the Thin Book as I start my new journey today.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Wed 12/14/11
I haven't written lately, because I feel like such a loser. I have gained 1 1/2 lbs back so I am back to 240 lbs. That is just so wrong. My eating is so out of control again. Not like it has ever been "in control".
Today, I am starting to read "The Thin Books" by Jeane Eddy Westin. I ordered it from Hazelden. What I read today was interesting. What am I going to be remembered for when I die? The woman that was obsessed with food? Not what I want. I am going to try to take a journey with this book and see if it helps my mind and self-worth. Part of my problem at work is boredom. I love my job but there are some periods of time with nothing to occupy my mind. My bosses are gone this week so that leaves me with time on my hands. I brought my cross-stitch in. I am going to try to spend my lunch hours working on a project. I miss doing cross-stitch so hopefully that will help me feel better. You know, doing something you love to do.
Hopefully, I will be back tomorrow.
Today, I am starting to read "The Thin Books" by Jeane Eddy Westin. I ordered it from Hazelden. What I read today was interesting. What am I going to be remembered for when I die? The woman that was obsessed with food? Not what I want. I am going to try to take a journey with this book and see if it helps my mind and self-worth. Part of my problem at work is boredom. I love my job but there are some periods of time with nothing to occupy my mind. My bosses are gone this week so that leaves me with time on my hands. I brought my cross-stitch in. I am going to try to spend my lunch hours working on a project. I miss doing cross-stitch so hopefully that will help me feel better. You know, doing something you love to do.
Hopefully, I will be back tomorrow.
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