Friday, November 25, 2011

Black Friday 11/25/11

The last 2 weeks have been emotionally rough.  My ex is trying to extort money out of me.  He has tried numerous ploys and I have proven him stupid.  Like he says I owe him for our tax return of 2007.  But I have the canceled checks to prove him wrong.  He tried to tell me we owe the IRS 9,200.00 plus penalties and interest.  Called the IRS.  He might owe but I don't and our tax returns filed together don't.  Then he decided to bring up a dark dirty little secret I have.  I have spoken of this to no one in 27 years. But of course he knows about it because he was there.  I fully intended to take the knowledge to my grave.  But oh no, my creepy cruel ex is trying to use that to extort money from me.  So I had to sit my husband down and say the words out loud and hope he didn't want to divorce me.  Since I will not pay the ex-pig any money I have to tell people. Maybe this is why I am an over eater.  I have been sitting on this for so long.  Then in between the ugliness with my ex, my aunt dies.  A truly wonderful woman who is only 13 years older than me.  This is just sadness and depression flowing thruough me.

My husband was understanding and someday I will have to talk to the rest of my family before the pig does.  My phone is shut off so he can't call me so I expect he is calling everyone I know. 

My eating has been frenzied thru this last week.  It is emotional turmoil eating.  I am fully aware I am doing it.  I even talk to myself why I am doing it and can't seem to stop.  The only tiny consolation is I didnt have much food around me to go crazy with.  So I had 3 of the small peanut butter cups.  I don't even really like them.  My husband wants me to lose weight but he is the one that brings the junk into the house.  for the most part I don't.  I am going to have to talk to him about that.  we have a huge bag of small peanut butter cups and I think they should go to work with him on Monday.

Yesterday we had a big meal.  It is only my husband and me but he like all the fixings.  I didn't buy toomuch for him this year.  I got a ham and a few potates and sweet potaotes so we wouldn't have the food for days.    For next week at work, I am going to try to go back on the HCG diet I tried earlier.  I bought light popcorn so I could keep my calories low but feel like I am eating something.  I don't think depriving myself is going to help.  Our new fridge came today and that should help with the over eating too.  It is much smaller that the old one so I will have to keep my grocery list down to what we need for the coming week. 

On a personal development note I have been trying to get back into my Bible study routine.  I downloaded my Bible onto my e reader so I can always have it on the train with me.
That's all for now.

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